Thomas E. Trimmer
Converting from Killer to Peacemaker
INTRODUCTION
Recruited for Special Operations Two Conversion Moments Reflecting on Life in the Military "Ministry to the World" Peacemaking -- from the Personal to the Global Impacting Lives Living a Life to Which You Are Called
The Vietnam War lives on in the U.S. psyche and in the psyche of those who fought in that controversial war. It was a war that many young men participated in for what they believed were honorable reasons -- only to become disillusioned by what they had to do and by the way it tore the U.S. apart in the 1960s-70s. It was a war that deeply touched the souls of soldiers. It was a war that converted some from being killers to peacemakers. One such soldier was Tom Trimmer.
Being Native American (his mother was a full-blooded, college-educated Ottawa) and a young man in his 20s in the early years of the Vietnam War, Tom decided to escape from poverty on the Saginaw Chippewa Reservation in Michigan by joining the U.S. Air Force. He was recruited by the C.I.A., along with 14 Native Americans in his group alone, for special operations. He was told: "You people are naturally sneaky, you're crafty hunters and fighters. You will be contract employees and work directly for the president." Dwight Eisenhower was president at the time, and Tom is not sure that Eisenhower was aware of their special mission.
According to Tom, "They would show us aerial photographs of a village, and they would draw a circle about a certain hut. They said it was the home of someone who could not be counted on by the U.S. government. Our job was to make sure that everyone in the hut was killed." The quieter weapons of choice were knife, wire, and cross bow.
What made such missions more dispiriting was occasionally to learn later that the wrong hut had been marked and the wrong people killed. Tom says that he killed "too many" -- including old women and men. But never children.
Tom's heart was changed by two particular episodes. The first one was when a Vietcong soldier charged him with his bayonet. Tom deflected it with his hand and knifed him as he went by. As the young man lay dying on the ground, he motioned to Tom that he was thirsty. As that moment, Tom saw him as a brother who had only become an enemy because government leaders on both sides has told them that they needed to fight a war to save their way of life, to stand up for what they believe in. As Tom bent down to give him a drink, the soldier died in his arms.
The second incident, the killing of a child, touched his whole group. A young girl, about 7 years old had wondered into their camp. Since no one was supposed to know who they were or be able to identify them, the directive was to kill anyone who came upon them. One member of Tom's group got up and killed her. As they gazed on her body, some cursed, others cried. After burying her, they talked about what had happened. "Killing adults was one thing, but killing a little girl was wrong. We knew it was wrong no matter who ordered it. We decided then and there that we were done with killing."
The group was threatened, offered more money, and was finally shipped back to the U.S. They received honorable discharges and were sent back home. From that time on, Tom's life changed radically, and he has been striving to live, model, and teach non-violence and tolerance ever since.
That he killed people in the manner that he was asked to do in the Vietnam War still weighs on Tom after all these years. 
"That's the terrible power of sin. God forgives me. But I can't forgive myself. That's one of my great concerns with the war in Iraq. Young men and women are being forced to do immoral activities they wouldn't normally do.
You are taught in military law that you don't have to obey an immoral order, but if you refuse, you go to jail. I was told that there was no room in the C.I.A. for morals. You were informed that what you learned in Sunday school is not relevant in the real world. If you choose to be a conscientious objector, they will persecute you and ruin your life. I didn't want to kill anyone but they convinced me that I had no choice."
Tom says, "Patriotism is our real enemy. That's why I hate to see an American Flag in a church sanctuary. We are taught that we cannot serve two masters. Yet the U.S. flag represents one master while the Christian flag represents another. How can we pledge our allegiance to the U.S. when Christ demands our total allegiance to Him?
"I don't see a place for patriotism in the church. The people in the polling place when I vote get upset with me. They ask me if I'm a Republican or a Democrat. I say, 'Neither, I'm a Christian!' That really confuses them. They say they're Christians, too, but they are part of a political party. I ask them how that can be; they want me to compromise. I refuse and I think I'm right. I love this country and I feel that I'm a good American, but I will not support evil.
I would rather see this country collapse then see it sell its soul to the dollar. I can honestly say that I will never kill for it again. I will gladly give my life for it, but not in the military. I would like to see the military replaced with a Peace Force. Instead of teaching people to kill, we need to teach them to be peacemakers. Everything changes when your troops don't carry weapons."
After his conversion, Tom earned his undergraduate degree at Bethel College in Tennessee and studied theology at the Episcopal Theological Seminary of the Southwest in Kentucky and later at the Whitaker School of Theology in Michigan. In 1979, he was ordained a deacon and served in Presbyterian churches before joining the Episcopal Church. As an Episcopal deacon living in Alma, Michigan, with his family, Tom feels freer for a "ministry to the world" rather than to a particular church. He received no salary for "if I take money from someone, then I am obliged to honor that person's wishes. I have only one authority and that's the Bishop. When I see injustice, I'm free to do whatever I think is necessary."
Over the years, Tom has also been a teacher, trainer, and consultant with diverse educational and social justice groups, such as:
- Bridge Center for Racial Harmony: Peacekeeper and Anti-Racism Training
- Center for Democratic Renewal: Hate Crimes Summit II
- Diocese of Eastern Michigan, Junior High Youth Camp: Forum on Native American Spirituality
- Episcopal Church in the U.S.A.: Training the Trainers: Anti-Racism
- Episcopal Peace Fellowship: National Executive Council and Internationally Elected Member
- Evangelical Lutheran Church in America: Crossroads Training and Anti-Racism Program
- Fellowship of Reconciliation (FOR): National Council Member
- Michigan Ecumenical Forum: An Ecumenical Conference on Seeking and Serving Christ in All Creation
- Native Americans in Solidarity with Central America: Founder and National Coordinator
- Nevada Desert Experience (NDE): Millennium 2000: Walking the Ways of Peace
- Riverside Correctional Facility: Seminar and Worship Service for Native American Prisoners
- University of Creation Spirituality: Native American Ritual, Spirituality, and Culture
Tom has touched many lives with his pastoral approach -- from those in jail, to those planning to be married, to those seeking healing. "When I counsel people, I never offer solutions or try to impose my will. 
The best thing that I can do is to get them to really talk and listen to each other. I ask questions that make people face issues that they would rather not go into."
Rick Nix, a friend and colleague in non-violence training workshops, describes Tom as a spiritual father and mentor. Any mission that we've gone on, I always checked with him to get mental, physical, and spiritual guidance," says Rick. When the Ku Klux Klan came to Michigan, Rick found that what he had learned from Tom "made the impossible, possible"; there was no violence even though over fifty percent of the Klan members were armed. Tom has also helped Rick to connect with his Native American heritage as a black Cherokee.
Lily Baxter, former chair of the National Council of FOR, knew Tom as chair of the Affirmative Action Committee and as one who wanted to see all cultures respected and included. While Tom as a "hilarious storyteller," during FOR meetings Lily experienced his presence as very inspiring and remembers him as "only speaking when he had something to say; when Tom spoke it carried great weight."
Richard Deats, editor of FOR's Fellowship Magazine, describes Tom as "reflective and as very centering at FOR meetings." He helps those on staff and on the council to listen from a different perspective, which means an awfully lot to us as activists," according to Richard.
Rev. Lyle Kleman, director of the Bridge Center for Racial Harmony, who has given non-violence and diversity trainings with Tom, sees him as one who is "has tried to model a lifestyle that he believes in." Lyle said that, building with his Native American spirituality, "Tom has demonstrated an understanding of the Christian religions and of most religions -- to live a life to which you are called."
Tom's Native American name is "En-Me-Gah-Bowh," which means "He who stands before his people." Following his inspiring conversion to peacemaker, this is a call that Tom continues to live out with all the many people and groups whose lives he touches.